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Eradicating ‘Provide’

[A few weeks ago, Emily Litchfield of Northern Arizona University reached out to share a win her team had had—they had eradicated the verb ‘provide’ from their Mission Statement! I asked if she would share how they did it so we could all learn from their hard work as part of our Mini-Mission Makeover Series. Hats off to Emily and her team for a job well done!]

CSI Logo In 2009, the Institute for Future Workforce Development and the Gerontology Institute merged to become the Civic Service Institute (CSI) at Northern Arizona University. At that point, we adopted this little beauty of a Mission Statement:

The mission of CSI is linking students, AmeriCorps members, Senior Corp volunteers and others to community, educational and non-profit organizations to build, enhance, and strengthen community capacity, workforce and career development.

Yeah… I worked there and I wasn’t even sure what that meant (and I’m quite certain that none of the other employees did either). How in the world was I supposed to sell that to any potential supporters? I certainly wasn’t going to try and memorize it so I could parrot it back in a robotic fashion, preceded by a long sigh, when asked what it is that we actually “do”.

We needed help! We needed a new mantra that declared our drive, passion and experience not some rigmarole statement packed with as many words as possible. It had to be action oriented because CSI is all about movement and service and community. We needed a good verb because we don’t simply “provide” anything (see Erica’s blog post from April 3, 2014).

After a lot of hard work rearranging word order, researching synonyms, and focusing on verbs, we finally had it and we were pretty darn proud!

The Civic Service Institute (CSI) @ NAU mobilizes generations to strengthen communities through service and volunteerism.

Recently, I read Erica’s mini-mission makeover for July 17, 2014 and I had a moment of disappointment- “Mobilize has issues”?? I took a little breath and decided to celebrate our victories- our mission is miles ahead of where it was in the beginning… and we didn’t use ‘provide’.

ELitchfield Emily Litchfield is the Program Coordinator at CSI.  She enjoys playing the Ukulele and is currently studying for the GREs.

The Cure for Your Completely Incomprehensible Mission Statement

Fort Lewis CollegeAs part of our Mini-Mission Makeover series, more than 30 organizations submitted their Mission Statements for review.  Brave souls the lot of them! Sadly, most of them make almost no sense to anyone outside the organization.

If you want people to understand your Mission Statement, the first thing you should do is figure out where it lands in terms Reading Ease. There are two super simple tests for this.

  1. For the Flesch Reading Ease score, the higher the score the better. Time Magazine hovers around 52, whereas the Harvard Business Review is in the low 30’s (cuz those peeps are wicked smaht).
  2. The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score says how many years of education someone needs to understand your Mission Statement. In this case, the lower the score the better. For instance, Dr. Seuss,  Master of the Monosyllabic Masterpiece, with an average score of ‘o’, managed to write book for which you need no education to totally get them. (If your’e inclined, you can learn more about both tests here.)

The following organizations submitted their Mission Statements and, sadly, are not just tough to understand but are, in fact, technically incomprehensible, i.e. no matter how many years of education you have, you won’t be able to understand them. #ugh

Sustainable Connections mission is to be the local forum where businesses come together to transform and model an economy built on sustainable practices

West Coast LEAF‘s mission is to achieve equality by changing historic patterns of systemic discrimination against women through BC based equality rights litigation, law reform, and public legal education

The mission of Scottsdale Leadership is to inform, inspire and empower leaders to champion and strengthen the interests of the community.

Pangea Giving For Global Change‘s mission is to inform and engage members in supporting the efforts of grassroots organizations in the developing world to address social, economic, and environmental issues through financial assistance, ongoing partnerships and site visits.

KMFA, Classical 89.5 is a non-profit, listener-supported radio station whose mission is to uplift, entertain and educate Central Texans by providing the best in classical music and cultural programming.

The National Churchill Museum commemorates and celebrates the life, times, and distinguished career of Sir Winston Churchill and inspires current and future leaders by his example of resilience, determination and resolution.

Colorado Alliance for Environmental Education’s mission is to serve all sectors of the Colorado Community by improving the collective effectiveness of environmental education.

How do you fix your Mission Statement if it’s completely incomprehensible?

Although not completely incomprehensibly, the Mission Statement for the Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College is pretty darn low in terms of Reading Ease, as are most nonprofit Mission Statements. Let’s look at their statement as a way of seeing how you might up the readability of your Mission Statement.

AS SUBMITTED: The Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College strengthens student’s commitment to a more socially just, ecologically responsible world by connecting students with the opportunity to create change on campus and in our community. Reading Ease: 5.1, Grade Level: 20.4

FIRST REVISION—taking out some extra words: The Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College connects students with opportunities on campus and in our community to create a more just and ecologically responsible world.  Reading Ease: 12.2, Grade Level: 17.7

SECOND REVISION—translating fancy words into plain-speak: The Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College connects students with opportunities to create a more eco-friendly world. Reading Ease: 16.7, Grade Level: 14.6

THIRD REVISION—making it easier to say by rearranging verbs and cutting out syllables: The Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College creates opportunities for students to make our world a more eco-friendly place to live. Reading Ease: 40.4, Grade Level: 12.8

Is “eco-friendly” the same as “socially just and ecologically responsible”? Not exactly. But people get ‘eco-friendly’ so they might—just might—ask a question about the types of eco-friendly opportunities the Environmental Center creates and that will give them a chance to go into greater detail.

For those of you saying, “Not fair–we’re getting dinged for having a big ol’ long name!”

The name of this organization has lots of syllables. This means it will, by definition, not do as well on reading ease tests. Simply by swapping out the name for “we”, you get:

We create opportunities for students to make our world a more eco-friendly place to live. Reading Ease: 61.8, Grade Level: 8.3

61.8 and 8.3? Now we’re cooking with gas! If you have a long name, sometimes it works best to have it be its own sentence, e.g. “I work for the Environmental Center at Fort Lewis College. We create opportunities for students for make our world a more eco-friendly place to live.” Play around with it and see what flows best!

[Check out Kristina Leroux’s fab post on how to use the Flesch Kincaid Reading Ease tools in Microsoft Word on Kivi’s Nonprofit Communications Blog.]

Mini-Mission Makeover: Volunteer Center of Morgan County

Volunteer Center of Morgan County, Mission Statements, jargon, language, messagingThis post is part of our Mini-Mission Makeover series.  If you want input on your Mission Statement, submit it on Claxon’s Facebook page. THANK YOU to the wonderful people at The Volunteer Center of Morgan County for being brave enough to have your Mission Statement made over!

There’s a whole lot of mobilizing going on in nonprofit Mission Statements.  To wit, this Mission Statement submitted by Melissa Hill Dees of The Volunteer Center of Morgan County in Decatur, Alabama:

“The Volunteer Center of Morgan County, Inc. mobilizes people and resources to address the issues that are important to the community and strengthens the capacity of local organizations to meet community needs through volunteerism.”

I’m not saying this happened at the Volunteer Center of Morgan County, bu I can’t tell you the number of meetings I’ve sat in where a group focused on volunteerism is working away on their Mission and Vision Statements and–lo and behold–the heavens part and someone shouts all excited like, “We mobilize! That’s what we do! Why yes!” And everyone nods and smiles and exclaims, “Why yes, yes we do mobilize.” And everyone is very pleased because mobilized is such an action-oriented word and that feels neat because action is good. So they high-five each other and head to the pub for a post-Mission Statement-writing pint.

Mega-buzz kill moment: Mobilize has issues.

Here’s the problem with ‘mobilize’. It has very specific mind-share for English speaking North Americans. We mobilize forces or troops. Let me stop you before you go making the case for the fact that you’re mobilizing forces of volunteers–just because you can make the case for it doesn’t mean you should.

When you co-opt a word that has a strong association with another market segment–in this case military forces vs. volunteers–you’re fighting an uphill battle. Uphill battles are expensive because they take lots of resources to fight. If our brains expect a sentence to be finished in a certain way, it gives us a brain cramp when they finish differently. Brain cramps are bad when it comes to getting people involved in your work. (#BrainCrampsBad)

The other thing with ‘mobilize’ is that it doesn’t sound very appealing. Hard to imagine Pat the Potential Volunteer sitting himself down and saying, “Jinkies, I wish someone would mobilize me.” Sounds painful. Something to run away from rather than toward.

So that covers the issues with mobilize.

Another issue with the Volunteer Center of Morgan County’s Mission Statement is that it’s try to do too much for one sentence–a very, very, very common state of affairs for all Mission Statements. If you’re going to make your Mission Statement something that those outside your organization find compelling, you have to prioritize and simplify. 

I would ask the fine folks at the Volunteer Center of Morgan County the same question I asked when presenting at the Hands-On Network Affiliate Meeting: What’s the one thing that you fundamentally want to be known for?

Depending on the answer to the question above, here would be some options for the Volunteer Center of Morgan County to play around with:

We bring people together who want to make our community an even better place to live.

We strengthen local nonprofits by putting volunteers to work.

We create partnerships between volunteers and nonprofits to tackle issues that matter to our community.

Any other thoughts or suggestions for Melissa and the very wonderful and hard-working folks at The Volunteer Center of Morgan County?

Mini-Mission Makeover: Association for Supportive Child Care

I recently did a follow-up webinar to a keynote I gave at the Alliance for Arizona Nonprofits’ Annual Membership Meeting. I invited participants to send in their response to the question “What do you do?”, so we could chat about them.

The Association for Supportive Child Care sent in the following sentence: “We work to enhance the quality of care for children across Arizona.”

This is very similar to their Mission Statement, which is “to enhance the quality of care for children across Arizona.” It’s great that their Mission Statement is so short and sweet, isn’t it? So rare and wonderful!

My advice–stick with that short n’ sweet Mission Statement of theirs. They *almost* stick with it but commit a common messaging mistake–they use a qualifier. In their case, the qualifier is “work to…” Other examples of qualifiers include: striving, endeavoring, and trying.

Qualifiers function as little, tiny apologies. They make your work seem like it has less impact, less oomph, than it really does. They don’t enhance your messaging. It makes it sound like you’re kinda, sorta doing the thing you’re referencing, but you’re not all in. People want to support organizations that are all in for whatever they’re doing. Sitting on the fence isn’t inspiring. Best to eliminate qualifiers.

For the Association for Supportive Child Care, they could simply say, “We enhance the quality of care for children across Arizona.” Simple. It begs the question, “How do you enhance the quality of care?” And remember–when it comes to using language to engage people in your work, questions are good!

? = : )

 

 

Please welcome Vicki Williams!

Tessa SrebVicki Williams, Claxonro, who has been our intrepid and fearless intern for the past six months, left some very big shoes to fill for her successor…but Vicki Williams is up to the task!

Vicki brings some mad stats and research skillz to the Claxon team. In two short weeks, she has sliced and diced data, schooled us in stats (confidence intervals, anyone?), and introduced me to a new word with which I have instantly fallen in love and will try to use whenever possible because it’s so darn fun to say–abecedarian. (Go ahead, say it out loud. Fun!)

Vicki will be building on the Marketplace of Words research, which is primary research we’re doing to see which words nonprofits use most often, so you can know which words to embrace and which to avoid.) Tessa did the first round of research and, trust me, it’s beyond cool. Vicki will work her magic to evolve that work, making it even more awesome and useful for nonprofits.

Welcome to the Claxon team, Vicki–we’re thrilled to have you on board!

 

 

Please step away from your Mission Statement!

engagement, connection, marketing, fundraising, strategy
Engagement Cycle

We’re going to try out something new–Mini-Mission Makeovers. The purpose of these is to get more out of your Mission Statements.

Let’s talk about those Mission Statements, shall we?

Every nonprofit has one. Most are quite wed to them. Organizations invest hours and hours into both creating these statements and then having everyone memorize them.

Organizations undertake this memorizing of the Mission Statement with a view to staff and board being able to repeat the statement word for word when someone asks what your organization does. It is considered a success when all board members and staff can, in fact, repeat it word for word. Never mind that most people sound like robots when they repeat the Mission Statement. And that the statement itself is usually long, boring, and not very interesting. Never mind that it’s not anything anyone outside the organization would ever repeat. Never mind.

Don’t get me wrong–you should have a mission statement. It’s a very useful tool. But most Mission Statements don’t generally do a good job of succinctly and compellingly communicating what you do and why you do it to people outside of your organization.

Therefore, I beseech you to please step away from your Mission Statement!

Yes, you read that correctly. Stop worrying so much about your Mission Statement and start focusing on coming up with a really good response to the question: “What does your organization do?” that really answers the question “What do you want to be known for?”

Let’s pause on this because it’s important: People don’t generally wander up to you at a bbq and say, “It’s been a while, Harry, remind me what you want to be know for again, will ya?” Nope. People wander up and say, “Reminder me what you do again for work, will ya?” So that’s the question you’ll get. Your job is to use the opportunity to make sure they leave the conversation knowing what you want to be known for so that they can talk about that to others.

By coming up with a concise and compelling statement about what you want to be known for, not only do you make it easy for people to decide if they want to engage with you and your organization, you also make it easy for them to talk about your work with others who may be interested. (Note that a robotic recitation of your Mission Statement is neither concise, nor compelling. It is, therefore, not repeatable.)

Am I talking about your Elevator Pitch? Kind of, but not really. The idea of an Elevator Pitch is kind of weird, when you get right down to it. It implies that someone will go from first hearing about you to writing you a check in short order. #Creepy

Really what you need are a collection of statements that align with each point along the Engagement Cycle (see spiffy graphic above). You want statements that invite questions. Why? Because when someone asks a question, you get to know exactly what interests them about your work. That makes it easy for you to personalize what you tell them, thus quickly and efficiently moving along the Engagement Cycle. Neat, right?!

The toughest statement is always the “Know Statement”. It’s a humdinger. Ideally, it’s 10 words or less. If those 10 words are of interest to the person with whom you’re talking, you might move them along to an “Understand Statement”, whereby you help them understand what you do, why you do it, how you do it, etc. If they still look interested, then and only then, might you invite them to engage with you in some way–visiting the website, coming to an event, whatever.

Coming up with your “Know Statement” is no easy task, I’ll give you that. And that’s why we’re going to start doing the “Mini-Mission Makeovers”! We’ll give you specific tips for how to make-over your Mission Statement (because they are often a handy starting point for creating your “Know Statement”), so it becomes a useful tool for engaging people outside your organization, e.g. donors, supporters, volunteers, etc.

For our first Mini-Mission Makeover, we have Jewish Family & Children’s Service of Greater Mercer County.

“We are dedicated to strengthening families and individuals by providing a wide range of social services and programs, including therapy, information and referral, support, education and advocacy.”

Recommendations

  1. Find an alternative to provide: You knew that was coming, didn’t you?! I’ve written about this a lot, so won’t bust out my soapbox in this post. If you aren’t sure why provide is so bad, you can read all about it here.
  2. Get rid of the “to be” verb: Whenever I see “to be” verbs (e.g. is, are, am) in a mission statement, I start by figuring out how to get rid of them. Lots of the time, “to be” verbs make a sentence duller than it needs to be. For instance, rather than saying “We are dedicated to strengthening…”, Jewish Family & Children’s Service of Greater Mercer County could simply say, “We strengthen…”. Boom.
  3. Ditch the ‘Services Laundry List’ and decide on the one thing for which you really want to be known: This is a tough one, I  know, but if you tell someone your everything, they’ll remember nothing. You want people to remember you and talk about your amazing work to others. Thus, the need to pick one–or at most two– things to highlight from the cornucopia of awesomeness that you do. (If you’re stumped by this, check out the Messaging Toolkit and/or the Organizational Lexicon, both free and available in our DIY section.)

Here’s how implementing the above recommendations might look:

“We strengthen families and individuals through therapy, education and advocacy.”

Now, I haven’t chatted with the folks at the Jewish Family & Children’s Service of Greater Mercer County, so I’m not sure what they want to be known for, but you get the idea–fewer words, spunkier verbs and no laundry list.

Want help making over your Mission Statement? Post it on Claxon’s Facebook page and we’ll see what we can do!

 

 

Are you tough, stuffy or sweet?

brand, brand personality, adjectives
What three adjectives would you use to describe this guy?!

What three adjectives would you use to describe your organization’s personality? This is a really super good question to ask and answer. Why? Because once you have a clear sense of your brand personality, you have a consistent look and feel and voice. Consistency builds trust and it helps you stand out from the crowd.

For instance, you might be:

  • Friendly, knowledgeable, proactive OR
  • Faithful, focused, energetic OR
  • Savvy, ambitious, forward-thinking

As silly as it may sound, picking three adjectives that best describe your organization is worth the time and energy. Here are three tools to help you out:

  1. In his book, “Tough, Sweet and Stuffy”, Professor Walker Gibson talks about how you can align your writing with these three personality types. He even has a handy chart of how often to use different types of speech and whatnot to help. It’s an interesting way to think about your organization–if you had to chose, would you be tough, sweet or stuffy?
  2. The List of Adjectives–9,947 adjectives waiting to be sorted alphabetically or by category.
  3. Claxons’ 5 Steps to a Funective Brand.

Jargon: It’s More Prevalent Than You Think

67bd[This is the latest weekly post from our intern, Tessa. You can find all her posts here.

If you work for a 501(c)3 and you are not a private foundation, your nonprofit is deemed a public charity. By definition, that means you exist to serve the public. Yet, so often, you use language that is meaningless to people outside our organizations. It’s called jargon, and we’ve advised against it in the past.

What you may not know, however, is that jargon takes another dangerous form: pretentious and/or vague language. What if I told you words you use daily, words like community, impact and partnership, might be alienating the very people you’re trying to engage?

For example, say you tell someone that you are “serving the community”. You know exactly what community you’re serving. But an outsider would have no idea if you’re talking about the immediate neighborhood, the city, the county, or perhaps even another location all together.

If you’re unsure if you’re using jargon, just step back and ask yourself if someone who is not familiar with your organization would know what you mean. If the answer is no, find a more specific word. You can also check out this nonprofit Jargon Finder.

Remember, public charity workers:

“The repetitive, habitual use of insider lingo undermines the inherently public nature of the issues under discussion.” – Tony Proscio

5 Very Bad Assumptions Nonprofits Make About Language

EricaMills2014 resized
Thanks for hosting, AFP Bellingham!

Last week, I spoke at the Washington State Nonprofit Conference and at a training up in Bellingham, WA hosted by AFP Washington (that’s about 90 min north of Seattle for you non-NW readers).

We talked about five very bad assumptions most nonprofit folks make about language and how to shift those assumptions to increase your impact. Here they are:

  1. You are the center of the universe: Whether or not that’s true, if you want to engage supporters in your mission, shift your language to make it about them. (Hint: Liberal use of ‘you’ and ‘your’ will do the trick.)
  2. Answers are more important than questions: Nope, questions are where it’s at. When you hear someone’s questions, you know what they’re interested in. So shift your approach so you proactively invite questions.
  3. You’re being strategic with your words: Unless you’re crystal clear on what success looks like, and who you’re trying to reach with your words, you’re not being strategic. Shift to a habit of always being clear on whose ears need to hear your message. The 1, 2, 3 Marketing Tree poster (which you can see in all its glory in the picture above) can help you make this shift.
  4. People can understand you: Um, not if you’re using jargon and fancy phrases. Knock that off! You want to shift so your language is free of jargon and fancy phrases. That makes it easy for people to understand you and repeat what you say.
  5. Nouns are more important than other parts of speech: Yeah…no. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again–verbs are where it’s at! You’ll do yourself and your organization a big favor by shifting to a verb-first approach to language.

There they are–the five assumptions and the shifts you should make if you want to use language to make the world a better place!

 

What Twitter Taught Me About Writing

[This is the latest weekly post from our intern, Tessa. You can find all her posts here.Delete Button

Twitter has forced me to learn something valuable. Its 140 character per post rule has shown me that, more often that not, I’m using more words than I need to.

When Twitter isn’t monitoring what I type, sometimes I don’t even know I’m using too many words. And I’ve never been the verbose type. Those who have met me know that I won’t talk your ear off without some coaxing (or without some wine). I always struggled to meet minimum page number requirements in school. Yet, even I say much more than I need to.

Take, for example, this article I shared the other day via social media. I started by quoting the article and adding my own thoughts:

Nonprofits win awards for clear communications. Why? “If there’s any (common) thread, it’s they keep in mind the needs of the reader.”

Twitter wouldn’t let me say all that and include a link to the article and a shout out to the person shared the article with me. After some deliberation, I ended up with:

Nonprofit clear communication winners “…keep in mind the needs of the reader.”

So simple. So clear. Yet, it still conveys the same information. Remember, the clearer your message is, the more people will read and understand it.

Writing concisely is not easy. In fact, it’s very difficult for most people. As Mark Twain famously said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

The good news is, concise writing is a habit that can be learned. A good place to start is with your organization’s mission statement. Challenge yourself to say the same thing with 3 less words. Depending on your organization, you may be able to get to 5, 10, or even 15 less words! Also, look critically at the next thing you write for your organization. It could be anything – even an email. See how short you can make your message while still keeping the original meaning. You’ll notice you often eliminate the same filler words or sentences over and over. “I just wanted to let you know…” is a common culprit. Pretty soon, you won’t even try to type those extra words.

No matter how good you get, you’ll always need to stay conscious of the words you’re using. They’re what connects you to your audience. Make the most of them.

Do you communicate as effectively as you think?

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Do you communicate as effectively as you think?

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